How do you recommend addressing and fixing miscommunication between a client and the tattoo artist during an appointment?
Some questions are juicy because there’s a lot between the lines, and you leave SO MUCH unsaid in this query! I get it, though. This is something that rears its head often and that can take many forms in the tattooer/client exchange, from the minor to the major. I’m going to do my best at talking about this topic in generalities that can be useful in a few miscommunication scenarios.
What’s coming to mind as not-uncommon examples are:
-You drew something and it’s not what they wanted.
-You double booked and people are upset because they’re getting rescheduled.
-You did something when applying the tattoo that wasn’t what the client expected.
-Your total cost ended up being way more than they anticipated and is out of their budget.
Some of these issues can be addressed by developing good practices ahead of time. Communicating about their budget or at least what your rate is ahead of time can evade any surprises down the line. Being forthcoming and asking for consent before making changes or additions to a tattoo during the process— I can’t believe that has to be said, but it happens more often than you’d think that tattooers take creative license without checking in, and there have been a number of nightmare stories coming forward in the last couple of years from clients who expected something wildly different than what they got. Don’t do that. Just don’t.
Memes my mom sends me: a cartoon of a tattoo artist tattooing someone’s back with writing that reads “Un dragon con symbolos Japoneses bien chingones,” translating to “a dragon with badass Japanese symbols.”
Some important ingredients, since you specified during an appointment:
If you’re in the middle of tattooing, stop. Put the machine down. Take your gloves off. Actively tattooing, and being tattooed, is not a state in which either person can communicate well. Stopping what you’re doing to focus on the issue at hand also signals that you’re committed to taking it seriously, not putting it second to just getting the job done.
Take the pressure off a particular outcome. I emphasize this especially before you’ve started, but it applies after too. If I can tell a client isn’t confident about getting tattooed that day, whether because of the design, the cost, or a million other factors that are beyond my control, I remind them that they don’t have to get tattooed right then and there. Bringing that possibility and that “out” into the space can free up the client (and you) from compromising where they might not want to, or from talking themselves into something they don’t want in order to keep the appointment or avoid disappointing you as the artist.
Being clear and direct. Naming what you think you’re understanding and hearing as the issue provides an opportunity for the person to feel heard if you’re right, or to clarify if you’re wrong. Often being direct can cut through some of the fog of miscommunication. Just be mindful of your tone and delivery, and focus on kindness, openness, and a genuine desire to understand what’s going on with someone.
Accept that someone might have feelings, and they’re allowed to feel them. This might mean that despite your best efforts at deescalation or repair, they are angry and don’t want you to be the person resolving the situation.
It’s worth mentioning here that my approach to conflict is informed by my interest in transformative justice. In this spirit, I’d point you to Mia Mingus’s The Four Parts of Accountability: How to Give a Genuine Apology. While it might not be clear at first glance what resolving a miscommunication has to do with abolishing the prison industrial complex, Mingus puts it well:
“Here, we will focus on conflict, hurt, misunderstandings, small breaks in trust, and low-level harm. We begin with these because most of us do not know how to navigate these smaller experiences and our relationships suffer or even end because of it. We stress relationship building in transformative justice work because without strong relationships, we will not be able to respond effectively to harm, violence and abuse within our own communities.”
[Image designed by Danbee Kim that reads, “Four Parts to Accountability: self reflection, apology, repair, changed behavior.” Each part is in a separate red box, with a drawing of three small potted plants underneath. A quote by Mia Mingus at the bottom reads, “True accountability is not only apologizing, understanding the impacts your actions have caused on yourself and others, making amends or reparations to the harmed parties; but most importantly, true accountability is changing your behavior so that the harm, violence, abuse does not happen again.” There is a small box at the bottom that reads, “For more, visit http ://bit.ly/BAC2020”]
Some other resources if you’re interested in how these principles and practices can help shape your relationships, communication style, and how you work through conflict (wow, kinda…important parts of tattooing):
-Accountability Mapping – a valuable self-directed online course about somatic accountability, or “accountability through the body.”
-Decolonizing NonViolent Communication – a workbook that “encourages readers to deepen our emotional vocabularies so that we can work towards a more enlivened, healthy interdependence.”
-Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement Edited by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha and Ejeris Dixon
I can sense some of the eye rolls already…what does enlivened interdependence have to do with tattooing? It’s a customer service job, it’s my artistic practice, it’s a tough guy needle pain thing that’s not for snowflakes!! If they can’t take a joke, fuck em! <imitates gruff tattoo bro stereotype>
If you think tattooing isn’t about relationship-building, you’re lying to yourself.
If nothing else, relationship building is good for business: if you have a good rapport with and do solid work for clients, they’re likely to recommend you, and to keep coming back, extending your network to people they themselves have relationships with (partners, friends, coworkers, family). They’re also much more likely to come into misunderstandings and miscommunications assuming good faith if you’ve established a trusting and mutual relationship, and to give you the opportunity to make things right.
I’ve heard more than once of tattooers with a lot of years under their belt who do great, versatile work, live in areas with ample potential clients, and still struggle to book. I can’t help but wonder: is the relationship building the missing piece? Our interactions these days can feel more transactional than ever, and people genuinely value exchanges and relationships that don’t treat them like a number. I hate-- hate hate hate-- having to argue for “being a good person” with “so you can have business,” but it does tend to be an effective motivator for better or for worse.
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When I got into tattooing, it felt like the prevalent philosophy was that it didn’t matter what you were like, it only mattered what you tattooed like. The failings of this attitude are manifold, the most egregious being that it enables bad behavior as long as you’re doing sick tats. I’ve seen this more times than I can count; tattooers were unreliable, had bad attitudes with clients, were racist or serial abusers, but because people admired their work, they got a pass. Clients felt they had to tolerate bad behavior to get a good tattoo, and were left bearing the psychic and dermagraphic residue of that bad experience. The other effect of this was that it erased the individuality and humanity of artists as people. Feeling like the only thing that matters about you-- or justifies your presence in the shop or industry at large-- is your tattooing skill is hardly encouragement to show up as a well-rounded, considerate person, or for your clients to view you that way. I can say confidently that when I began to integrate more of my full self and values into my tattooing practice and work life, that my dynamic with clients improved tenfold. I try really hard to have as much integrity and kindness as I can, and in return my clients have extended me so much grace and generosity, knowing that we’re each only human.
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Copies from the restock of my book, Could This Be Magic? Tattooing as Liberation Work are still available from Black Claw and Afterlife Press. If you like this newsletter, I hope you’ll love the book!
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I work very hard on communication and kindness. This is very affirming, thank you!
loved this post -- thank you!