My friend and I are both tattooers. I find myself feeling critical of their work (from a technical standpoint, not aesthetically) and don’t know if I should say anything or not. I’ve always encouraged and supported their work but I wonder if it might be worth it to offer criticism?
Let’s start by taking a moment for tattoo friendships, a bond like no other. Tattooing is an incredibly weird job! After thirteen years I still stop and marvel at how weird it is. I can’t imagine navigating it without the tattoo friends who let me text to vent about the boundary-crossing email I got or will look at my backpiece drawings and send back thoughtful, detailed notes. I still have close friendships with people I worked with at my very first shop, the people who showed me you can wear tattoo gloves to eat your lunch order of ribs. In fact, one of the magical synchronicities about Flower World, the private studio I share, is that I inherited the space from a friend who I’ve worked with at every shop I've been at full-time in my career. Tattoo friendship can last a lifetime and is a gift that keeps on giving.
This question speaks to friendship dynamics in general, and also to the hyper-specifics of mixing work and social relationships. We as tattoo artists bring so much of ourselves to our work, and our sense of identity is often deeply intertwined with tattooing as a job and practice. I’m remembering early pandemic lockdown when so many of us had no idea what to do with ourselves when we couldn’t tattoo, and some people compensated by painting flash and making drawings at an unrelenting pace (def not me). This can make it feel more sensitive to introduce critique, because we don’t want to make people feel like we’re criticizing them.
Something nice I hear in your question is that the relationship is overall positive- you don’t mention conflict in your friendship otherwise, you say that you do like the aesthetic of their work, and you have a track record of being supportive, which is a great place to address the other part from! Luckily, creative exchange and feedback is a common and accepted part of tattooer friendships, and it’s not out of place to trade that info. I say trade very intentionally, because if the advice is one-sided it could get old, fast. Can you introduce spaces for feedback exchange more generally, to open the door to those conversations?
I’d suggest approaching it from a place of mutuality and generosity. There’s the tried-and-true “compliment sandwich,” where the critique is layered between two positive things:
“This design is such a classic, I’ve always loved it! Have you thought about saturating the black a little more in this one area? It would make the strong contrast you’ve created even stronger.”
And of course, asking for consent before offering criticism, constructive and well-intentioned though it may be. Do you have a solution or help you can offer in addition to pointing out the areas of improvement (“Can I show you a good trick I know for seeing if your color is saturated enough?”)? If not, that can be a place you can seek out answers and growth together.
“I’ve been having a hard time with drawing traditional roses too. I feel like I can never get them to look quite right. Do you want to have a movie night this week and practice? We can watch Anarchy Parlor and redraw Ben Corday designs.”
There can be a lot of stigma around admitting you don’t know how to do something or could use help in our field. You might find that your friend is glad to have somewhere to go to ask for advice when they need it. We’ve likely all experienced the frustration when you actually desire help and someone just says “looks sick” instead. Another thing to keep in mind is how often you want to be offering this kind of help. Giving support and feedback can become tiring if you’re the only person on call all the time. This can be another benefit of creating containers where you both have dedicated time to both give and receive that type of critique. That way, you don’t feel like a de facto mentor or create a dynamic of resentment between you two.
There’s also value to reframing the desire to offer help. You’re offering not because you think your friend sucks ass and doesn’t give a shit about their work, you’re offering because you know your friend cares about the integrity of their work and is passionate about doing the best tattoos they can, and you want to support them in that. That takes a whole lot of respect, which is a beautiful thing to share among friends. Finding someone who’s willing to take the time to sit down with you and offer sincere, thoughtful feedback is much rarer than it seems, and something to value when you do find it.
Finally, there’s always the possibility that your friend doesn’t want any help. If you give it a try in a kind, respectful way and they shoot you down, that’s their loss. Peer-to-peer learning is a huge blessing in tattooing and they’re likely closing themselves off to a lot of potential growth. In that case, refocus on your own work, the friends who are excited for that kind of exchange, and keep that part of your friendship compartmentalized.
💌 Comments are on and I’d love to hear from tattooers about your tat bros- heartwarming stories, notes of appreciation, shout-outs to people who have held you down. 💌
Spotlighting this week:
📰 This tattoo by Jay Baby of Houston, Texas – Jay’s work blows me away! It’s so mature and developed, and they do lots of impressive drawn-on pieces. Give them a follow on IG @jaybaby.tattoo.
📰 This print edition from Kandace Layne (@kandacelayne) – Kandace’s tattoos and paintings are true standouts. They stop me in my tracks every time I pass them while scrolling- not an easy thing to do on social media these days! Highly, highly encourage picking up a print for your shop or studio.
📰 For the Love of Tattoo, the new zine from Nassim Dayoub, available via Brown Recluse Zine Distro!
📰 Support the Black Trans Travel Fund – donate here!
Such a great read!! I currently dont receive peer criticism at my studio, as everyone keeps to themselves … im inspired to find local tattoo friends now!
I’m not a tattooer but this is great advice! Go Tamara 🔥🤎